Theoretical Gambling: Week 9

It's Friday, and you know what that means -- time for imaginary gambling! A quick refresher on the rules: The entire "pot" (which started at $5,000 in Week 5) must be wagered, with every game having at least $100, and no more than $1,000, wagered on it. For previous installments, check out the link on the right hand side of the page, or simply click here.

Week 8 record: 11-3
Season Record: 36-19 (65%)
Week 8 vs. Spread: 6-6-2
Season vs. Spread: 26-27-2
Week 8 Money won/lost: -$1,000
Season total (gain/loss): $4,200 (-$800)

Okay, I suck. For two straight weeks I’ve stunk it up. Although, to be fair, last week I went 11-3 picking straight up, and pushed on two of those wins, where just one more point would’ve made me a winner in terms of “money” -- both for the week and the year. Still, you know what they say: “Excuses are like assholes, they’re full of shit.” Or something like that.

Because of the rankness of my picks against the spread recently, I’m doing something a little different this week -– maxing out on the games I feel good about, and going with the minimum on the others. I’m also keeping it short and sweet this week, so let’s get to it:

Texans (+4.5) over VIKINGS

The Vikes win, but don’t have the fire-power to blow anyone out (Caveat: Unless AD goes OFF).

PREDICTED SCORE: Vikes 24, Texans 20
“MONEY” WAGERED: $100

Jags (-7.5) over BENGALS

The Jags blow right now. The Bengals blow now and forever.

PREDICTION: Jags 27, Bengals 17
WAGER: $100

Bucs (-8.5) over CHIEFS

The Chiefs were feisty last week, but at some point the whole No-LJ-and-3rd-string-QB thing has to catch up to them.

PREDICTION: Bucs 31, Chiefs 16
WAGER: $100

Ravens (+1.5) over BROWNS

The Ravens are looking solid, and Joe Flacco is a big reason. He’s a much better all-around athlete than I thought.

PREDICTION: Ravens 21, Browns 17
WAGER: $100

BILLS (-6) over Jets

The Jets suck. Favre might be hurt. And the Bills are at home. I say they cover…just barely.

PREDICTION: Bills 27, Jets 20
WAGER: $100

Cards (-2.5) over RAMS

The Cards are playing good ball right now. Surprisingly, so are the Rams. Only the cards can keep it up.

PREDICTION: Cards 31, Rams 24
WAGER: $1,000

Lions (+13) over BEARS

The Lions have been a little feisty of late. I say they keep this one close.

PREDICTION: Bears 30, Lions 20
WAGER: $100

Packers (+4.5) over TITANS

This is where I go out on a limb. The Titans can’t win ‘em all. I think they lose this one. At home. I know, I’m a crazy person. No one can possibly predict what I might do next.

PREDICTION: Packers 24, Titans 23
WAGER: $100

Dolphins (+3.5) over BRONCOS

The ‘Phins can run, the Broncos can’t stop the run. Sometimes, it’s just that simple. (I hope.)

PREDICTION: ‘Phins 28, Broncos 24
WAGER: $100

Falcons (-2.5) over RAIDERS

I love the Falcons. I know I’ve mentioned that before, but I’m going to keep saying it, so it’ll be easier to link back it to later when they’re a playoff team in a year or so.

PREDICTION: Falcons 20, Raiders 17
WAGER: $1,000

GIANTS (-9) over Cowboys

Brad Johnson sucks. The Giants might be the best team in the NFL. Remember what I said about it being east sometimes?

PREDICTION: Giants 30, Cowboys 20
WAGER: $100

Eagles (-6.5) over SEAHAWKS

The Eagles look to be rounding into shape. The ‘Hawks shouldn’t be able to keep up, even at home.

PREDICTION: Eagles 31, ‘Hawks 17
WAGER: $1,000

Patriots (+6) over COLTS

The shine is off this usually great matchup, but I think they’re closely matched talent-wise.

PREDICTION: Colts 27, Pats 24
WAGER: $100

Steelers (+2) over REDSKINS

17 times the Redskins have played a game the week before a Presidential election. 17 times whether the Redskins won or lost, the incumbent party did the same.

PREDICTION: Steelers 24, Skins 21
WAGER: $200

Obama (-6) over McCAIN

See above. 17 for 17 -- that's serious history. I wonder if Obama will be wearing a Big Ben jersey and cheering for the Steelers on Monday night.

PREDICTION: Obama 336, McCain 202
WAGER: The future of the world

To see which announcers will be calling your team’s game, or to get an early look at what game will be airing in your area of the country check out this site.