Mini Link Dump

Screen Junkies has a compilation of great movie deaths. This is why I like Screen Junkies.

Bunch O' Shite

Today, I enjoyed a rarity -- a meeting at a studio that went well and was promising, with notes given which made sense and were helpful. It had gotten to the point I was doubting whether those even existed anymore. It may not lead to anything, but it was nice just to be reminded of the possibilities. In celebration, I'm posting a buffet of treats. Links, photos, news, I got it all. And you want it. You know you want it. You want it so bad, you dirty little tramp, blog you.

--The WBC marches on, and so does the U.S. squad, who won in dramatic fashion in an elimination game. The semi-finals now include the U.S., Venezuela, and Korea, who beat Japan again to win their pool. Japan now plays Cuba in an elimination game to determine the final semi-finalist.

--Sasha Baron Cohen aired some footage of his upcoming movie based on his gay Austrian character, Bruno, at SXSW, and Cinematical has some really great spoilers.

--Screen Junkies has their list of the best 80's TV theme songs. That's why I love them.

--And finally, this is a Stormtrooper taking a dump:

Russell Maryland & the Link Dump

Three links today, but first a quick story: I've been a Miami Hurricanes fan since I was a kid in the early 80's (Bernie Kosar Era), and saw a parade of talent trvel through there on their way to great careers. Despite all the high-flying offensive talents, big-play defensive backs, and dominant pass rushers, some of my favorite players growing up have been defensive tackles (Warren Sapp, Jerome Brown, Russell Maryland).

Recently, my writing partner, Barry, got me some freelance copywriting work for a PR company. It turned out to be writing bios of former NFL players who are participating in a football camp in Dallas. They have played for eight Super Bowl winners between them, so you may have heard of them: Reggie Barnes, Brian Williams, Ray Mickens, Tony Tolbert, and... Russell Maryland. So that's what I did last night for my job -- wrote a bio for one of my boyhood heroes. Not bad work if you can get it.

College Humor has some parodies of those DirecTV ads. careful, a couple of these are pretty tasteless. Just how I like 'em.

If you know me, you know I love lists. Today, I have two of note:

1) Bullz-Eye has a list of their biggest Oscar snubs (and they titled it after another Oscar snub you may be aware of).

2) Screen Junkies has a list (and clips) of the 9 best movie scenes involving vomiting. Sounds good, don't it?

UPDATE: One more diamond found in the internet rough which I had to post...

A-Roid Link Dump

'The Onion' is always a good place to swing by anytime a big story hits it the world of sports, especially since their website has devoted an entire section to The Onion Sports Network. They've predictably been having a lot of fun with the A-Rod fallout, highlighted by a cover story reporting his death.

There's this little gem discussing all the new, unflattering nicknames he will now get (yet completely ignores the obvious, and my choice, "A-Roid"), and they also delve into what Curt Schilling thinks of the situation. But the my personal favorite is the breaking news from the Elias Sports Bureau, revealing the best clean player of the steroid era.

'The Onion' isn't the only place A-Rod is taking snipes from. Joe Torre, his former manager, didn't just rail on him in his new book, now he's calling A-Rod's numbers "tainted". Meanwhile, the publishers of a new tell-all book about him, written by Selena Roberts, the author of the SI article which outed him as steroid user, have announced they're moving up the release date. And just to put the ironic cherry atop the bad timing cake, the University of Miami just happen to choose this week to re-name their baseball field "Alex Rodriguez Park".

Link Dump

So, I mentioned in my Top 10 list of movies from '08 that I hadn't yet seen 'Slumdog Millionaire'. It's quickly ascended to the top of the Oscar candidates, but I haven't even tried to see it, because I've heard a couple of takes on it, and am pretty sure I'd hate it. I know, everybody's raving about it -- it's the feel-good, heartwarming, tear-jerking, blah, blah, blah -- but from the sound of the plot, and a description of the storytelling techniques, I knew it wasn't my cup of tea. That's why I didn't feel bad making my Top 10 list without seeing the movie likely to walk away with "Best Picture".

That original take was only solidified when I read Film Drunk's review today, which basically says everything I'd heard, imagined, and feared about the movie. It outlines some specific issues I already had with the movie, the general feeling of absurdity, cliche, and self-satisfaction I expected, and even a couple more weaknesses I hadn't heard of/imagined. I'll probably see the movie eventually -- I'll be in Boulder soon, without much to do, and have already seen all the good movies coming out across the country this month -- but more out of morbid curiosity than eagerness.

Today, Film Drunk also posted review of 'The Wrestler, making me feel bad I didn't call it the best film of the year, which it just might be. Every time I read another review of it, I'm again amazed to think about how great Mickey Rourke's performance was. If he doesn't win the Oscar, I hope he puts whoever does in a Figure Four Leglock a la Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake.

While were talking about movies and dropping links, here's Rotten Tomatoes' Top 10 Sci-Fi Flicks for the Thinking Man. Some good ones on this list, including a couple you don't hear talked about much -- 'Gattaca' and 'Primer' -- along with the more usual suspects -- 'Children of Men' and 'Blade Runner'.

Lastly, I'm headed off to Boulder early next week, so the posting may not be too regular for a while. We'll see how it goes, but I'll be juggling a job, the completion of the script I'm working on, and my football column (at least through the Super Bowl), all while staying at a friend's place, so it could be spotty at best. Then again, I may have to get online to rant about driving cross-country (well, halfway across anyway), or living in snow, or how nice the people outside of LA are, so you never know.

Right now, the biggest issue is that I can't find my favorite album -- Radiohead's 'The Bends' -- for the road trip. I've uploaded all my other CD's to iTunes (finally joining the 21st century), but can't find it anywhere. Was it stolen? Lost? Taken by CD fairies? Did I loan it to someone? I can't make it 1,000 miles on the open road without it, so if I lent it to you, this is the time to return it. My sanity is at stake.

That's it for now. See you when I see you.

Rant & Link Dump

Quick detour before I get back to the movie reviews. A TV heads-up and some links:

'I SURVIVED...'

I wanted tell everybody (anybody?) out there about a great show on TV which nobody knows about. You won't see many ads for 'I Survived...'. And since it's on BIO (Channel 266 on DirecTv), you probably don't stumble onto it much. But it's good, real good. It features people who have survived unbelievably dire circumstances -- being shot in the head, or stabbed in the throat, stranded in shark-infested waters for hours on end, trapped under ice, arm caught in farm equipment, huge metal hook stuck in your throat (that was a good one). People have been kidnapped, raped, left for dead, and yet everyone on the show found some way to stay alive.

In this week's episode, there was a guy who had a female stalker pay someone to shoot him -- six times -- and after he somehow recovered, she poisoned him -- three times -- and still, there he was to tell his story to the cameras. Almost without fail, it is an amazing, inspiring hour of television. There is on occasion, however, a story so gruesome, that the payoff doesn't really make it worth the ride. Some are stories where most people involved died, limbs are sometimes lost, and in one truly unbelievable story, a woman was splashed in the face with battery acid -- on two separate occasions -- and was badly disfigured.

Even in the worst cases, though, it shows the unthinkable limits humans can go through to survive. The unbelievable resiliency of the human spirit. It's really quite a show.

LINKS

--Some dude in Jersey named his kid "Adolf Hitler" and wonders why he can't get a birthday cake with his name on it.

--John Woo is ahead of his time, but only by 11 years: The nation's first face transplant just happened.

--This story seems depressing -- because it is -- but there's one redeeming element that saves it for me: This little girl wrote a letter to Santa, and got exactly what she wanted this Christmas. In this fucked-up world we live in, sometimes you have to look pretty hard for a silver lining.

--Ever wonder what it takes to work for the CIA? Here's a primer.

Link Dump

I'm still working for a living (at least for a couple more days) and I need my beauty/sanity sleep, so I'll keep it brief. I'm just going to dump a couple of links of interest and get off to bed:

First, I think this is funny, even though it's supposed to be serious, and I actually agree with the cause. I guess I just don't see the point of it. And I laugh every time I imagine someone actually doing it -- going through the act of making the actual call to work.

This, on the other hand, is meant to be funny. Mission accomplished.

Lastly, the Digital Shorts are the best thing on SNL, and the clip below was probably the highlight of this weekend's show:



The shorts are made by The Lonely Island -- comprised of Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Andy Samberg. They have dabbled in music before:

Detour/Link Dump

My latest wrap-up of the weekend's NFL action, 'After Further Review...' is up over on NinersNation.com -- jump over and take look. Now!

Once you're through with that, here are a few more links to make your Monday just a touch more bearable:

--Holy Taco, one of my favorite source for link dump material, has their own play on the LOLcat phenomenon, with LOLgrandparents.

--If you like my reviews, and wish I'd do more movies (By the way, I agree, and plan to get to a lot more movies in December), then take a look at the work of the The Filthy Critic, who does it better than I do -- and sees a lot more movies (at least, so far). He's funny, very perceptive, and obviously loves and knows movies as well as anybody.

--If you like Big Daddy Drew's writing from Deadspin or Kissing Suzy Kolber, or you just like raunchy humor and brutal honesty, check out his personal website, Father Knows Shit, where right now he has a post linking to several of his best/funniest pieces about his life.

Detour/Link Dump

In case you missed this post, and came here looking for my weekly NFL picks, please head on over to NinersNation.com, where you can check out the first edition of my weekly Friday column, "ANY GIVEN FRIDAY" here. I've beefed up the game previews a bit, and tried to add a few more laughs, but it's still a work-in-progress, so any constructive criticism is more than welcome.

The big college game this weekend is clearly #2 Texas Tech at #5 Oklahoma. Tech is trying to complete their Cinderella-like regular season run and make it to the Big 12 Championship Game with shot at the National Title. Oklahoma, meanwhile, will be trying to upset their championship dreams, returning the favor for last year, when the Red Raiders did the same thing to them. For more on this epic tilt, check out Pat Forde's column on ESPN.com. My pick: Oklahoma 70, Texas Tech 69 -- the Sooners win when Tech scores to apparently send the game to OT, only Mike Leach elects to go for two instead, and the try fails (I'm only half-kidding).

A few more links to get you through the weekend:

--A new HBO biopic on legendary comic Sam Kinison is in production, and there a great story on it over at FilmDrunk.com which not only gives a rundown on the project, and a good-sized early clip, but also some excellent commentary on why the hell the producers would choose the sickly-sweet Tom Shadyac to direct a project that should anything but.

--Another link by way of Film Drunk, takes us to HolyTaco.com, where they have an amusing graphic article titled "If TV Shows Had Truthful Titles".

--I've seen a lot of crazy names in my life, but I don't know that I've ever seen one quite as crazy as this.

--Entertainment lovers should check out sister sites The Reel Addict and The TV Addict.

--Lovers of sports and making fun of sports, and especially making fun of announcers, should check out Awful Announcing.

Detour/Link Dump

No more football weekend wrap-ups here as I'm now doing a regular Monday football post over at Niners Nation. My first one is here. I'll still give my college Top 10 when applicable, but since all the teams at the top either won or were off, there's not much different to look at this week.

I should have a post up later today or tomorrow. In the meantime, here's a few random links:

Screen Junkies has 11 Nude Scenes We Didn't Need To See.

Holy Taco brings us 40 Awesome Versions of Jesus.

A great t-shirt.

Weekend Link Dump

-- Searching for the perfect gag gift for a buddy? Need to make a gesture for someone who's done you a favor? Pissed off your girlfriend, and need a way to make her laugh? Then I've got the perfect site for you. Show your loved ones you give a shit, by giving them a shit. That's right -- I shit you not.

-- I find this story funny, sad, frustrating, and several other conflicting emotions. How two old friends from high school couldn't figure out a way to share that kind of money when it literally appears from nowhere both boggles my mind and strikes me as typical at the same time.

-- This just might be the best link I ever provide: If you can think of a TV show from the 80's, then I can almost guarantee you can find a video of intro to that show here. It's a great time-waster. Seriously, I just wasted like 45 minutes on it just while typing out this blurb. I found these old favorites from my childhood:





And this forgotten relic:



Not to mention, this cheesey gem:



The only negative thing I can say about it is the intro clip for 'Manimal' has been taken down due to copyright infringement.

-- And finally, as we head toward the holidays, I decided to dig up this oldie but goodie:

Weekend Link Dump

--You've got to love any story that's title involves either "Hooter's" and "found drunk", but when it has both, that's a very special thing.

--Some of these are pretty crazy: "15 images you won't believe aren't photoshopped" from Cracked.com.

--If you're a dude, and you're bored at work, this could be very useful.

--Clint Eastwood hasn't been in movie in four years, and now that he's back, he's directing himself in what looks like another Dirty Harry movie. Only now he's retired. And racist. Only he's not actually playing Dirty Harry, he's playing a Korean war vet. And while it looks like the title should be "Angry Old Man", it's actually called 'Gran Torino'. Here's the trailer:



In other comback news, the "Wassup" guys from the Budweiser commercials are back, though it looks only temporary:



--I love FAILblog. The pic at the top is an example of the genius from over there, as is this: