Today, doing what I do -- i.e. sitting around my apartment all day in boxers watching TV and surfing the Internet -- I stumbled onto a new blog. Well, actually it's a vlog, but I don't have time in my schedule to make such trivial distinctions. I'm a very busy man. And important, too.
Script Girl posts on MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, YouNameIt. I found her through the MySpace page for honored Blog Roll member, WWTDD.com. Have you ever done this -- follow some link to someone's MySpace page, then recognize a friend they have ("Hey, I know that guy!"), or at least find interest in a thumbnail ("Hey, she's hot!") and go to their page, only to find interest in one of their friends, and go to that page? Soon, you can find yourself miles from home with no idea how you got there. Is there a name for this phenomenon? MySurfing?
Anyway, I followed the WWTDD.com site to Eli Roth's page, then over to Edgar Wright's page, where I saw she had posted her last few weekly reviews of script sales in the entertainment industry. I'll be honest, like my relationship with a lot of women, the first thing that drew me to Script Girl was her great rack. That, and her seeming eagerness to display said rack. But I stayed for the script news, the oddly hypnotizing tone she speaks in, and the so-bad-it's-good-no-wait-it's-bad-I-dunno-I-can't-tell-anymore quality of the "skits" which act out some of the news. Plus, she claims to be an underpaid Hollywood pee-on, so we've got that in common. And did I mention the rack:
This week's report breaks the news of Bruce Willis' directorial debut, and the deal to write and direct 'Til Beth Do Us Part' made by the writers of both 'Harold & Kumar' movies. This second one pisses me off. Not because I don't like those guys. I'm a big 'Harold & Kumar' fan, and a friend of a friend who worked with them on the original said they are great guys. It's just that my writing partner Barry & I came up with a very similar idea -- two lifelong best friends have their relationship threatened when one of them gets serious about a girl -- a couple of years ago. We were told then, as we've been told so often, that the idea wasn't "big" enough. But as this deal shows once again, it's not that our idea wasn't big enough, it's either a) we're not big enough writers, b) we didn't have big enough agents, or (most likely) c) a combination of both a and b. This is my biggest complaint about the movie business -- that ideas are not judged simply on their own merit, but also by who's idea it is, and which agent is shopping it.
But enough whining about my screenwriting career (I'll leave that for one of patented Whining About My Screenwriting Career Posts), let's get rack, er back to Script Girl. In this week's report, she also uses those annoying little boxes which periodically pop up on screen to mourn the passing of Paul Newman. I like the sentiment -- Paul Newman is one of my all-time movie heroes -- but was a little pop-up box the best way to express those thoughts? I mean, the box practically obscures her tits. That's just not right!
I actually enjoy Script Girl's reports -- it's better than reading about these deals in the trades. Not even close. I predict big things for her. No, not those things, you perv. Get your mind out of the gutter. Seriously, I think Script Girl could be the next big internet phenomenon. All she has to to do is start taking off her top as she reads her reports like they do on Naked News. If she did this, guys could get their entertainment news and jerk off all in one convenient sitting. In this Age Of The Multi-tasker in Hollywood, that a pretty valuable asset. I guarantee she'd have the entire male entertainment executive demographic by the balls -- literally.
Using the age-old Hollywood scale of judgment -- HIGHLY RECOMMEND/RECOMMEND/CONSIDER/PASS (circle one) -- I rate Script Girl:
RECOMMEND
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