Theoretical Gambling: Week 6

It’s Friday night, and everyone knows what that means -- it's time for another weekend of fake gambling! And, after a winning record last week, I have even more make-believe money with which to wager. That's right, had I been in Vegas last weekend, I would've left with more money than I came with -- not including hotel, buffet, and hooker expenses. Let’s take a look at the numbers:

Week 5 record: 8-6
Week 5 vs. The Spread: 7-7
Money won/lost: +$800
Season total (gain/loss): $5,800 (+$800)

Time for this week’s picks, Daddy needs a new pair of imaginary shoes...

SAINTS (-7) over Raiders

The Saints have lost some real heartbreakers this year. I say this week they take out their frustration on the sideshow that is the Raiders and whoever’s acting as their figurehead coach this week.

PREDICTED SCORE: Saints 34, Raiders 16
“MONEY” WAGERED: $500

Ravens (+4.5) over COLTS

The Colts are really lucky to be 2-2. I think they make it to 3-2, but not easily.

PREDICTION: Indy 24, Ravens 20
WAGER: $200

JETS (+5.5) over Bengals

No Carson Palmer, no points.

PREDICTION: Jets 30, Bengals 10
WAGER: $800

Panthers (+1.5) over BUCS 


The Panthers are “win ugly” pick this year – you’re rarely impressed, but they usually score more points than the other team. And most teams that do that win.

PREDICTION: Panthers 20, Bucs 16
WAGER: $600

FALCONS (+2.5) over Bears 


I really like the Falcons, and this week they are at home and getting points. So why do I feel so worried about this pick? Because at some point, Atlanta is bound to put up one of those “They’re still the Falcons”-type games.

PREDICTION: Falcons 17, Bears 16
WAGER: $100

Lions (+13) over VIKINGS

Adrian Petersen, a 300 yard game? It could happen. Still, I think Detroit keeps it relatively close.

PREDICTION: Vikes 30, Lions 20
WAGER: $100

TEXANS (-3) over Dolphins 


The actual Cinderella team in the AFC so far against the pre-season pick for the Cinderella team in the AFC. After last week’s debacle, the winless Texans really need a ‘W’. If only just to head off those “Houston, we have a problem” jokes at the pass.

PREDICTION: Texans 27, Dolphins 20
WAGER: $200

Jaguars (+3) over BRONCOS 


Two teams I really don’t know what to think of, but I have to pick one. So, when in doubt, go with the underdog and take the points. Especially when they’re going against a sieve of a defense.

PREDICTION: Jags 31, Broncos 28
WAGER: $200

REDSKINS (-13.5) over Rams 


The Redskins look for real. If they are, they will cover this spread easily.

PREDICTION: Skins 34, Rams 13
WAGER: $700

Eagles (-4.5) over NINERS 


No Westbrook, no problem. No way the Eagles lose three in a row. The Niners, on the other hand, lose three in a row better than any team in the league.

PREDICTION: Eagles 31, Niners 20
WAGER: $1,000

Cowboys (-5.5) over CARDINALS

The Cowboys are due to play well. Kurt Warner is due to throw like 60 times for 500 yards and 4 INTs.

PREDICTION: Cowboys 38, Cards 28
WAGER: $500

Packers (-2) over SEAHAWKS 


Are the Packers and Seahawks this bad? I’d like to think so. I just wish both teams could lose this game.
PREDICTION: Pack 27, Seahawks 24
WAGER: $300

Patriots (+6) over CHARGERS 


This should’ve been a great matchup – the rematch of last year’s AFC championship, and quite possibly a preview of this year’s. Instead, it’s a test of which AFC power has fallen further since last year.

PREDICTION: Chargers 24, Pats 21
WAGER: $600

BROWNS (+8) over Giants 


The Giants are due for a stinker, the Browns need something, anything, to keep from letting this season become a complete embarrassment.

PREDICTION: Giants 27, Browns 20
WAGER: $200

My Wife's Survivor Pick: Washington
My Wife's Record So Far: 5-0