April Flowers: Giants 9, Dodgers 4

The Giants April schedule is over, and they end it with a 10-10 record. From where I'm sitting, that's something to build on. They were 2-7, and looking lost. Since then, the starting pitching has been every bit as good as I thought it might -- even better, considering Zito's newfound decentness -- and the everything else has been just good enough to win.

Tonight was more of the same -- Lincecum dominating, the offense contributing more than usual, the bullpen less. The Giants rarely score 9 runs (or get 4 hits from Renteria), but Lincecum pitched well enough to win 4-3. The Giants team which played the Dodgers in this series was a complete turnaround from the one which was swept in LA on a 0-6 road trip. They very well could've swept this series, but for a total fundamental breakdown on Tuesday.

If you believe the starters can keep this up, which is unlikely, then the Giants are in good shape. The hitting will likely improve at least a bit as the year goes on as young players get some experience, and the overworked troika in the bullpen (Wilson, Affeldt, Howry) should get another arm when Sergio Romo comes off the DL soon. With lots of young stars coming up through the minors, the future would look mighty bright.

If the starting pitching falters, however, it could get ugly very quickly. While Giants have lots of good young starters in the minors, the ones at AAA Fresno are not particularly enticing. The hitting will likely improve, but I don't expect it to be much above average if at all. And the D and bullpen aren't good enough to save the day. Barring a major trade, the starters are the keystone the season rests on.

So far, so good.

TOMORROW: Off-day. The Giants are back at it Friday night as they host the Rockies. The Big Unit will take on Ubaldo Jimenez in a battle of historically ugly vs epically ugly.

Memoirs of an Unemployed Man, Part 2: Enter the Crazy Flower Lady

Way back in my unemployed days, I wrote what was to be Part 1 of what was to be a 2 part piece on my job search. I promised Part 2 would come shortly, then warned my word isn't worth shit. I made good on one of those two statements. I had good excuses -- I moved, I got a new job, I polished a couple of scripts -- but I never did follow my with the conclusion. But now, after some gentle prodding from a the regular reader of this blog, I'm finally coming through with the long-awaited Part 2...

In my marathon search for employment, I began looking for any kind of part-time job which could get some cash flowing in. One such job was a flower shop which delivers to Hollywood production companies, restaurants, and clubs. It seemed like a pretty chill gig -- driving around Hollywood, dropping off flowers, setting them up, and watering the ones already there. It was only about 4 or 5 hours a day, which would allow me lots of time to write and hike and watch baseball -- my three food groups.

When they called me back, I was actually kind of excited -- the lady on the other end of the line talked about the A-list Oscar party they'd just worked, and how she didn't like drama. It seemed like a good fit. I made an interview for the next afternoon. It was a bit of a hike out to West LA where the shop was, and upon getting there, I found there was very limited parking. I found a spot in a residential neighborhood a block away, taking note that I'd only be safe there for half-hour.

The woman let me in the door, and handed me an application. I filled it out and was surprised when she handed me another packet to fill out. This was a 50 question personality test. For a job delivering flowers. It had questions like "Which is more important, being right or being fair?" I quickly filled it out, trying hard to not fall to far on either side of the fence. Not too passive, nor too aggressive. Not to selfish, or selfless. Not too prideful, or too insecure.

When I finished, she went through that packet first, clearly eager to find out who I was. She might have accomplished this by actually, you know, talking to me. Instead, she used a key -- a grid printed on a sheet of paper -- to decipher the answers to my "test". She told me I was very zen, but also quite forceful. That I was neither too left, nor too right. I was, basically, right down the middle. She loved this, but what really seemed to clinch the deal was my birth year -- 1971. You see, that is the Year of the Pig on the Chinese calendar, and she was both Chinese and also born in '71, so she understood exactly what this meant. She went on to explain to me how we were a very good match, and how I had "open, honest eyes", and "positive energy". When she explained that it was also nice to have a "hunky guy" delivering her flowers, I started to wonder if this was a job interview or blind date.

It was around this time, I noticed that I only had 5 minutes to move my car before I got a ticket. I mentioned this to her, and she went on a long explanation of how parking was tough in the area, and how I'd have to park 3 blocks away and walk over some train tracks and a field to get to work everyday. When I had only 2 minutes, I reminded her again about my car. Just a moment, she promised, saying she was printing me out directions on how to park. It appeared I was hired, so the last thing I was going to do was walk out on her at that point, but she just kept talking and talking -- about the job, LA, life in general, spirituality, religion, everything.

Finally, she told me to come in at 8:30 the next morning, and let me go. It was 30 minutes past when I had to move, but I still jogged all the way (in dress shoes), hoping to avoid a ticket. But I got there to find one sure enough -- for 58 bucks. I was pissed, but calmed myself a bit by thinking about how I'd just landed a job. In hindsight, it should've been a sign.

The next day, I made sure to be up and out of the house early, making sure not to be late due to LA traffic. I also had to allow extra time for the walk from my car. Because of this, I was quite early. I killed a little time in my car, reading a magazine, but still got to the store about 15 minutes early. I thought this might be a good sign to my new employer that I was responsible, prepared, and on the ball. Instead, I got yelled at. "You're early", she said "Try not to do that. Now you've got me off my schedule." Of course, what throws someone off their schedule more than an employee arriving a little early to work?

Before long, she was showing me all the ropes of the job -- and expecting me to pick it up on the fly. That's okay, I like a challenge. Before long, the company van was all loaded up -- to her extremely detailed and very high standards -- and we were ready to leave. I got in the driver's seat, her riding shotgun, and left. We were 10 feet out of the parking spot before she began to criticize.

The breaks on the van were brand new, and I had never driven it, so the initial trip down the alley behind the store was a little herky-jerky. "These breaks are tight", I said, explaining. "No, they aren't -- they're perfect", she retorted. "I just had them replaced." I tried to be diplomatic: "New breaks are always tight -- that's good, I just have to get used to them." Before I could finish, she yelled at me that I wasn't paying enough attention to the "very dangerous" blind corner we were approaching. I shut up and navigated it, and were on our way to our first stop. Before getting there, she criticized my speed ("This van is harder to stop than you think"), my lane choice ("Most accidents happen in the left lanes, I try to stay right"), and my stopping ("You should stop at least 15 or 20 feet behind the car in front of you -- that way, if we're rear-ended, we won't hit the car in front of us"). "Oh dear", I thought to myself. "This will not end well", I'd think to myself.

But this constant harping was punctuated by what appeared to be her fawning over my every comment or joke. She'd compliment my looks, or my personality, I'd play it off with a casual line, and she'd giggle ("You're such a Piggy", she'd say, delighted -- apparently meaning such a typical person born in the Year of the Pig"). When I told her something about my life, a certain unlikely turn of events, she she'd virtually squeal: "Piggy luck! Piggy luck!" I mentioned she was crazy, right?

The first stop was uneventful, but on our way to the second, I could tell that wouldn't repeat itself. She began to get very nervous and talkative about the next job -- delivering and watering orchids for a big production company in town called Relativity. She said they were her biggest clients, and we must slip in and do our work silently -- invisibly -- so as not to disturb these artistic geniuses. I could tell by now this lady had serious issues with stress, and it was starting rub off: I was already imagining who from the entertainment world I might run into at Relativity, and how embarrassing it might be. My conclusion was that the most embarrassing run-in would be with the managers I just fired, second would be the producers who bought my pitch a couple of years earlier.

By the time we arrived at Relativity and lugged all our supplies upstairs, it was pretty hot, and I was sweating. This was just one of the problems she noticed once we were inside -- I was sweating too much, not working fast enough, making too much noise, etc. In the beginning, she was walking me through everything, explaining how to do the job, but at some point she just told me to go do things -- never explain how they should be done. Then she criticized how I did them, as if she had explained it to me before -- she hadn't.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, who do I see? The producers who bought my script in the lobby, waiting for a meeting. At first, I thought it was my imagination -- it couldn't really be them. But it was. Luckily, they were both so involved with their Blackberrys they didn't seem to notice me. I did my work, and avoided them. But when she came to check on my work, something awful happened -- she recognized one of them. They had worked together at Warner Bros. a few years earlier, and struck up a conversation. I was -- painfully -- just a few feet away, but I kept my head down, made myself look busy, and tried to stay under the radar. Because I only met this producer in person once (when we pitched), and had 90% of our contact over phone and e-mail, I don't think he recognized me, but it was embarrassing nonetheless.

Mercifully, he was called into his meeting shortly thereafter, and we got back to finishing our work. But it wasn't that merciful -- she complained we were taking too long to finish there because of me not working fast enough (her 10 minute conversation with the producer while she could've been showing me what to do and helping out apparently had nothing to do with this fact). As we finished, she seemed increasingly annoyed by the fact, I didn't know how much to water orchids (keep in mind, I'd never done it before, and never claimed to have). She ordered me to water one, then stared daggers at me while I did.

"Am I doing it wrong?" I asked. No answer -- just more daggers. The fact this evil face staring back at me belonged to the same lady who was fawning over just moments earlier made it even more off-putting. "I must not be doing it wrong, but I have no idea," I continued, "because you're just giving me that look of death." Still no answer, just a very angry and frustrated sigh and shake of the head. Now, I know this isn't going to work out, so why not be honest? "Look, this clearly isn't as good a fit as you thought it would be", I said. "So just tell me how to do it, so we can get out of here. I'll finish out the day, and you'll never have to see me again." This seemed to draw her out of her shell a bit. She showed me how to finish up, we silently gathered our things, and loaded them into the van.

Once inside the van, she wanted to open up and talk. "So, what do you think?" she asked. "I think I'm not as good as you need me to be, and you're not as patient as I need you to be. It's not a good fit. I think we finish out the day, and then go our separate ways." She loved this. Loved it. Complemented by honesty, praised my communication skills, even laughed at my earlier "Look of death" comment. Several times. She kept saying it over and over, laughing each time. As we continued on for the rest of the day, she was much more open and helpful, and continually talking about how good a fit we were. Seriously.

At the end of the day, she talked about the next day's schedule. I still had this job. The question was: Did I still want it? The answer: In this economy, yes. There was no talk of our problems, and it seemed she'd moved on. So I showed up for work the next day -- more than a little nervous about what direction this would go. I made sure to arrive right on time -- not a minute early -- but she claimed I was a minute or two late. I should've just left right then. We packed up the van, and I pulled out, making sure not to hit the brakes too hard. I turned the opposite way down the alley to avoid the dangerous blind corner -- she said that was a no-no because the bumpy alley the other way was worse. Here we go again.

The trip to Hollywood was much smoother this time -- I made sure to stay right, stop 20 feet behind cars, etc., etc. -- and she spent the entire time opening up to me about her life as if I was her shrink. She talked about how much she hated the superficiality of plastic surgery, then explained how she had her teeth whitened and got regular botox implants. She talked about how hard-working "her people" were, while "Mexicans in LA are all so angry". It was an eye-opening experience. Still, it was better than being yelled at. It wouldn't last long.

The first stop was at Eva Longoria's restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard, where the criticism and dagger-shooting began again. Again, she didn't give me the necessary details for how to do the job, then went crazy when I didn't know them, or accomplish them quickly. I wasn't alone -- she also laid into a bartender who wasn't doing anything wrong either. The main point of contention -- at least for me -- was the fact she was constantly telling me how to count, as if not understanding that was the key to my slowness. Every time there was an issue, she'd explain to me how to count quickly. It was really annoying.

Finally, she said, "We're late, we have to go." I explained there were still two things on her checklist we had to do. "We don't have time", she said. While she was clearly emotional, I was matter of fact: "Then which should I not do." Again, no answer -- just daggers.

The situation finally reached its boiling point at the next place, where she again tried to explain how you count. "That's it", I said. "You can stop with the training. This will be my last day." "Why?" she asked. Are you kidding me? I explained why she was so hard to work with, how she criticized, and went from one extreme to the other. Mostly, I explained that an angry glare doesn't convey any helpful information. I told her she was the hardest person to work with I'd ever met, and that I'd finish the day if she liked, but would much prefer walking away right then.

She was legitimately shocked, and asked how I would get back to my car. I said it didn't matter -- that I would be so happy to not have to work for her anymore, I'd be willing to walk home and call a cab. She appeared hurt, but offered to cut me a check right then for my services and would allow me to go. I took it, threw off the company polo shirt I was wearing, and walked home -- about 12 blocks. Later that night, I had my wife drive me over to West La to pick up my car. Even in this economy, you have to draw the line somewhere.

As I've said since, it all ended up working out for the best -- I have a better job, in a better location, working for a better boss, and earning more money. You know what I call that? Piggy luck!

Not Ready For Prime Time: Dodgers 5, Giants 3

The Giants had enough talent to win tonight. They went up against a pitcher who's owned them and hit his well enough to win. And their own starter, Jonathan Sanchez pitched well enough to win. But none of those things happened, of course. And the impediment to their success was themselves.

On offense, baserunning mistakes and that old favorite (you guessed it) poor situational hitting cost them several runs. On D, fielding errors cost them a couple of runs and forced Sanchez to throw extra pitches which lead to him leaving the game after just 5 innings. Oh, and they walked nine hitters. Despite those gaffes, they still almost won the game. But they're not quite good enough to make this many mistakes and still beat a good team.

The Dodgers had something to do with this result as well. Rafael Furcal used his great arm to gun down Randy Winn in the 1st inning on a play when it looked like he'd score easily. Then the threat of Furcal's arm caused 3rd base coach Tim Flannery to hold up Travis Ishikawa on a play he probably could've scored on. Finally, Ishikawa compounded the error by getting doubled off 3rd on a lineout by Emmanuel Burris.

Juan Uribe had a particularly shitty game, making a big error, and failing to knock in a run, despite batting with 8 men on in 3 AB's with a total of 3 outs (1st and 2nd with 0 outs, bases loaded with 2 outs, bases loaded with 1 out). Bobby Howry lost it in the 9th, but by then, the Giants sloppy play had already all but sealed their fate.

TOMORROW: Tim Lincecum tries to win the rubber game of the Dodger series, thus striking a devastating blow to the heart of pure evil.

Rebound: Giants 5, Dodgers 4

The Giants bounced back from a crushing loss to beat the hated Dodgers Monday night. That would be a nice win any day. But when you consider the Giants got a great start out of Barry Zito, only to blow a 3-0 7th inning lead in the blink of an eye, and trailed before coming back to win, it makes it all the sweeter. Add to that, Brian Wilson's dominance (1-2-3 9th, all K's) after his nightmare 9th inning Sunday, and Twitter controversy", and you've really got some drama and intrigue.

The Giants could be on a 7 game win streak if not for one bad inning at the worst possible time, but it's hard to be too disappointed with a win against LA and a hard-fought .500 record. Not to mention surviving a tired bullpen only arms -- the little-used Merkin Valdez was the other. I don't even mind that Valdez struggled and vultured the win from Zito. In fact, that kind of makes me happy.

TOMORROW: Jonathan Sanchez takes on Giant-killer Chad Billingsley.

Heartbreak: D-Back 5, Giants 4

This was the worst loss of the year, as the Giants turned a 4-1 9th inning lead into a 5-4 12 inning loss. How disappointing was it? Let me count the ways:

1) A win would've given the Giants a rare road sweep -- one inside the division, no less -- after starting out 0-3 on the road.

2) It would've raised their record above .500 to 9-8. Instead, they drop back below to 8-9.

3) Hard-luck Matt Cain would've gone to 3-0, but again bad hitting and relief costs him a win. He still stands at 2-0.

4) Their winning streak would've run to 6, but is instead stopped at 5.

5) All momentum seems gone as they jet back home to face the 1st place Dodgers. And because of Brian Wilson's blown save, and the game being extended into the 12th inning, the bullpen has been over-used and abused heading in.

That, and it happened on a Sunday, while I was enjoying the game live. If that's not enough, Justin Upton hit his game-tying HR just as I realized a computer crash had cost me three hours of work. L-A-M-E.

TOMORROW: Giants/Dodgers at China Basin. If that pumps you up, I have the perfect cure. Barry Zito is pitching.

.500 And Loving It: Giants 5, D-Backs 3

The streak of great performances by the Giants starters is over, but the Giants ability to do just enough to win continued. Of course, it was the D-Backs, so I'm not sure just what that really means yet, but a win is a win. And when you take 6 of 7, you don't ask questions. You just keep smiling. And when a win gets you back to .500, that goes double.

The Unit was malfunctioning tonight, unable to throw strikes consistently, walking 7, and getting yanked in the 4th inning. It being his first start back in Arizona, I'm willing to cut him a little slack, but his ERA is 6.16 after 4 starts, and one of those a 1-hitter for 7 innings. Johnson was able to hold the damage to a minimum -- 2 runs -- and keep the Giants in the game. This allowed the Giants to storm back with 4 runs in the 5th to take the lead. The big blows were a 2-out 2-run double by Renteria after a great AB, and a HR by the very next batter, Randy Winn.

Though they tacked on another run later, that was all the Giants would need. Justin Miller allowed a run in his 1.2 innings, but Jonathan Sanchez, Bob Howry, Jeremy Affeldt, and Brian Wilson are held Arizona scoreless. The pen has been mighty for some time now -- especially the Affeldt, Howry, Wilson troika -- but it's been overshadowed by an even more impressive rotation.

TOMORROW: The Giants go for the rare road sweep behind Matt Cain, who will attempt to raise his record to 3-0. John Garland will start for the D-Backs.

In The Zone: Giants 5, D-Backs 1

Again, this was how Brian Sabean drew it up before the season -- great starting pitching, decent enough hitting, and solid defense. The defense and the hitting haven't been very dependable this year, but the pitching is starting to look like something the team can count on.

Counting on opposite-field HR's by Edgar Renteria, and getting 12 K's from your starter is not something they can do on most nights, but when Lincecum pitches it's certainly not surprising. Unfortunately, it's also not suprising to see the Giants leave runners at 3rd with less than 2 out again and again. Tonight, Aaron Rowand did it twice himself, and he wasn't alone. But when Lincecum is on, it doesn't matter much, as long as you score him a couple.

Rowand helped him off to a good start with a fabulous play to save a run in the 1st inning, cutting off a Stephen Drew double into the gap with a quick slide, then popping up and, in one motion, hitting the cutoff man with a strong throw. Lincecum then struck out Mark Reynolds to keep him there, and got out of the inning unscathed, going 8 innings and allowing only a single run and walk to go with the dozen K's (he struck out 13 D-Backs in SF less than a week ago).

The Giants managed to score 5 runs despite their lack of good situational hitting, mainly because of Bengie Molina, who hit one HR with the bases empty, and one ringing double with the bases full, driving in 3 runs total. He may not be the ideal cleanup hitter, but he's our cleanup hitter, dammit. Other highlights included Pablo Sandoval's 2 hits and a walk (yes, you read that right), and Fred Lewis chipping in 2 more hits to raise his average to .360.

For six straight games, the Giants have had dominant starting pitching -- not just in terms of results, but also peripherals -- and have won 5 of those 6 games. Lincecum has been the poster boy of the rotation, and for good reason, but it's nice to see all 5 guys contributing so well at once. It's gotten so good that the team can skip Jonathan Sanchez after a great start and not skip a beat., there might have been some controversy over choosing him and not Zito, but not when The Albatross goes out and mows down a division rival in a 1-0 extra inning win. It's too early to take these types of numbers too seriously, but there's no reason we shouldn't enjoy it.

Real Sunshine, Real Grass, Real Baseball: Giants 1, Padres 0

It was great to see a giants game live today, great to see a businessman's special -- my favorite games -- and great to see Barry Zito pitch like something more than a shadow of his former self. He was far better than that -- throwing 7 shutout innings, striking out 5 and walking none. it was the second straight game in which a Giants starter with control issues had 5 K's with no walks, and the 5th straight game a Giants starter pitched very well.

Luckily for the Giants, they avoided dropping a second of those five by being shutout when they scored the game's lone run with 2 outs in the bottom on the 10th. As Jon Miller said on the postgame show, right now the best way to describe the Giants is "If they score, they win".

It seems I was wrong on my prediction of Schierholtz getting his first start, but I was close: Andres Torres got his first start instead, and scored the winning (and only) run. I would've gone with Nate, who is now the only Giants position player yet to start a game, but Bochy's hunch paid off.

Hell, he even put Pablo Sandoval in catching gear for the first time today, and gave Bengie Molina the day off (the day after Steve Holm was brought up to provide a real backup catcher -- I'm sure if that timing makes sense or not), and had both players play major roles in their victory. Sandoval caught a 10 inning shutout and made a couple of nice plays (and one bad throw as well). Molina came off the bench to win the game with a double, scoring Torres, who had singled and stolen second.

Torres showed today how much better he is than Eugenio Velez -- he made a great defensive play, helped with the bat, and looked fantastic on the bases. Meanwhile, Velez has shown to be a terrible defender and baserunner (despite his great speed). In the 10th alone, the difference between them was clear. After Torres got himself in scoring position, Velez had a chance to play the hero, and struck out. Worse, than that, he realize it. After swinging and missing at strike three, he waited around at home plate as if he thought he got four strikes. The ump had to tell him to go away, holding out three fingers as if to say, "Can't you count to three, moron?" Because Velez still has options, I wouldn't be surprised to see him return to AAA.

TOMORROW: Off-day.

Mini Link Dump

Screen Junkies has a compilation of great movie deaths. This is why I like Screen Junkies.

The Trend Is Your Friend: Giants 8, Padres 3

The trend of Giants starting pitchers delivering great starts continued, as did the trend of me having to follow the game online and watch it later on TiVo. This is because I am whipped and need to spend time with my wife in the evenings after we get home from work. So, usually I'm watching shows on TiVo while I record the game. But not tomorrow -- I'm off work, and will be watching the businessman's special in my boxers. The bad news: Zito's pitching.

But there will be plenty of time to be glum about having to sit through a Zito start tomorrow. Tonight I'm just happy to watch Cain go to 2-0 by allowing 2 runs in 6 innings (with 5 K's and no walks!), and, more surprisingly, getting terrific run support -- mainly from Edgar Renteria, who made his first Giants HR a grand slam. Travis Ishikawa also had a nice night -- at the plate and in the field.

I'm also thankful to have power. Last night, just as the wife and I were settling in to watch shows, we lost our electricity. On the hottest day of the year (no coincidence I'm sure). No AC. No TV. No internet. After a few hours, no computers (the batteries ran out). Finally I tried to go to sleep, even though I can only sleep with the TV on, and tossed and turned for a couple hours. Just as I finally fell asleep, the power came back on. It was one of the worst night's sleeps I've ever had.

Also, I was unable to post late last night, as I'm accustomed to. I had planned to write an off-day post, but at least it wasn't a game day, or I would've broken my streak (it may be only two weeks, but I'm such a quitter, I've already impressed myself. Sad, isn't it?) Also, I had planned a special bonus post -- finally telling the story of the Crazy Flower Lady. But with no computer (the only one with batteries was playing 'Twilight' -- don't ask), I was unable to finish it. And because it turns I have one last round of notes on a script I've been polishing, I probably won't get to it for another couple of days.

RANDOM PREDICTION: I think little-used Nate Schierholtz will start in RF in the series finale. He's only had 5 AB's so far this year, but had a double as a pinch-hitter, and a day game after a night game is the perfect time to rest a vet like Winn or Rowand. Also, Nate's a high fastball hitter, and that's starting pitcher Chris Young's specialty pitch. But really, I think Bochy will think, "Hey, Nate's hitting .400, and he's also a lefty. And that Chris Young -- he's a righty", and from there it won't take him long.

RANDOM GRIPE: As much as I love Kruk and Kuip -- and I love them dearly -- they have one annoying trait: They tend to be apologists for some of the players, especially veterans. Being ex-ballplayers, it's no surprise, but they're so great in every other way, it kind of stings to hear them parsing their words, and bending over backward to avoid criticism. Tonight, Aaron Rowand got a terrible jump on flyball -- something which is less and less rare -- they were each guilty of making excuses for him. Kuip said he thought the ball would go futher, and Kruk wondered aloud if the ball might have knuckled. I'm not grizzly vet, but it looked like an end-of-the-bat bloop all the way to me. Later, when Rowand did get a good jump on a ball to make a nice play, they went out of their way to praise him.

TOMORROW: See above.

Near Miss-tory: Giants 2, D-Backs 0

All my life as a baseball fan I dreamed of seeing a no-hitter. I've had a lot of close calls -- 8 2/3 innings from Scott Garrelts at a game I was at in 1990, 8 from Trevor Wilson, and several close calls by Matt Cain -- but never seen one. In that time, I've seen the Giants no-hit 5 times (three straight by guys named Kevin -- Gross, Brown, and Millwood). When the Giants signed Randy Johnson, I briefly considered the possibility he could be the one to break the streak, before writing it off due to his age and injury limitations. Today, he made me reconsider that dismissal.

The Unit went 6 no-hit innings before allowing a hit, and completed 7 innings in just 73 pitches. He was dominating and efficient, a rare at all, but especially so on the Giants notoriously wild staff. If he'd still had the no-no, he could've gone the route, and I still wonder why Bruce Bochy pulled him with such a low pitch count. No matter, though, as the struggling Bob Howry threw a perfect 8th inning, and Brian Wilson tossed a dominating 1-2-3 9th with 2 K's.

The pitching is in full domination mode right now, the last three starts all fantastic, but you must factor in the opponent. The D-Backs have had as much trouble scoring runs as the Giants, which showed itself this weekend: Each game resulted in a shutout, all decided by identical 2-0 scores. Six runs total.

Though they scored twice what the D-Backs did, the Giants were almost more inept, consistently leaving men at 3rd with less than 2 out. This has been an especially trait, seeing how the team doesn't hit for power and thus must rely on the little things. Still, a win is a win. And the Giants can use all of those they can get right now. And a 1-hit shoutout to preserve a series win might be is the highlight of the season so far.

TOMORROW: Off-day. The Giants will look to avenge their sweep at the hands of the Padres on Tuesday when they visit San Francisco. Matt Cain will take the hill, and with his luck, he'll probably be facing Jake Peavy. Well, what do you know, it is Peavy.

Impotent: D-Backs 2, Giants 0

It's good to see the pitching is back. Not that there was any question in my mind Lincecum would bounce back, but it was still nice to see. Of course, it was not nice to see that performance wasted by the Giants offense, which continues to be anemic on a good night and non-existent on a bad one. Tonight was a bad one.

Both teams are playing so poorly offensively, it's to know how much to credit the pitching. When Dan Haren continues to dominate while getting no support (1 run in 3 starts), it's clear he's that good. The same can obviously said for Lincecum, especially on a day when he tied his career-high with 13 K's.

Add to Lincecum's dominance the performances of Cain and Sanchez, and there's plenty of reason for excitement about the Giants young pitching. Unfortunately, until they trade for Albert Pujols the offense comes around, they will suffer many wasted efforts and earn lots of undeserved L's and ND's. Today, they left two men at third with less than two outs, one in the 1st inning. Conversely, Arizona did really come close to scoring until the 9th, when they plated two to win it.

Also unfortunately, the Giants haven't gotten much from the older guys in the rotation -- Zito and Johnson. They'll never get anything from Zito, but I'm still holding out a lot of hope for Johnson. Speaking of which...

TOMORROW: The Big Unit takes on D-Back youngster Max Sherzer as the Giants try to avoid a third straight series loss.

Dealin': Giants 2, D-Backs 0

Now that's more like it.

Pitching, defense, and just enough O -- that's what this team looked like in the catalog when I ordered. Jonathan Sanchez was dominant against a team who's hit him well in the past (and shut down Connor Jackson, who'd owned him). Fred Lewis kept hitting, and stopped misplaying flyballs (at least for one night). The bullpen finished off the effort, Wednesday night's goat Bob Howry getting a key strikeout when it was needed to pick a Bengie Molina error, and Brian Wilson notching his first save of the year. Just like they drew it up.

That doesn't all mean a lot -- certainly not as much as the six piss poor outings which preceded it -- but it was nice all the same. It was also nice to see longtime minor leaguer and 31-year old rookie Andres Torres hit just his second career HR and then sprint around the bases as if he thought he was on the 24 second clock. It was also good to see my first KNBR post-game wrap (featuring Mike Krukow, Duane Kuiper, Jon Miller, Dave Fleming) of the year. Unfortunately, the post game show this year looks worse than ever -- some forgettable guy and a stumbling, mumbling JT Snow (Sorry, JT).

The Diamondbacks were struggling almost as bad as the Giants coming in, so hopefully they can get well against Arizona. Speaking of which...

TOMORROW: Ace Tim Lincecum tries to get well -- from a slow start, and from an ailment which has caused him to lose some weight and velocity -- against Doug Davis.

Mailing It In: Dodgers 7, Giants 2

This is all I need to say about tonight's game: I didn't think to TiVo it even though I knew I'd miss some while I came home from work, forgot about it until I was halfway home and the Dodgers were coming up in the 1st. Then I heard Vin Scully mention it was Zito on the mound, and I immediately went to change the station, but before I could, Rafael Furcal took him deep. I never followed another pitch, and again forgot all about the game while I caught up on some quality TiVo. By the time I remembered to check the score, the game was over. That says it all about the '09 season so far -- very forgettable.

Walk of Shame: Dodgers 5, Giants 4

I could fire off a hell of a rant about the Giants right now. They've certainly earned it. Now that the relief corps joined the rest of the team by crapping the bed tonight, I could include just about every player on the team. I could do that. But it's late, and I just don't have it in me. So instead, I'll make this short and to the point...

THE GOOD NEWS: The Giants lost a heartbreaker to the Dodgers tonight, making an improbable comeback on a dramatic HR just to blow the lead late and lose on a walk.

THE BAD NEWS: Zito pitches tomorrow.

TOMORROW: The Dodgers light up Barry Zito to complete a sweep of the Giants.

Off Day Odds & Ends

A couple of sure-to-depress stats from the Giants slow start:

-- They hit 3 HR's on Opening Day, none since.

-- They have not drawn a walk for three consecutive games (73 AB's), their longest stretch since 1976.

If those trends -- little patience or power -- persist, it will be a long year, even if Lincecum, Johnson, and Sanchez turn things around nicely.

While the San Francisco Giants have been stinking it up of late, the San Jose Giants are on fire -- both on the field, and at the ticket window. In fact, many observers are suggesting they might be one of the best minor league team in recent memory, carrying a truckload full of the best Giants prospects, and a few of the best prospects in baseball. Scott Ostler had a nice column in the Chron yesterday, chronicling the squad, which contains the likes of Angel Villalona, Buster Posey, Madison Bumgarner, Tim Alderson, Nick Noonan, Conor Gillaspie and Brandon Crawford.

The Grind

I have the next two days off, which is a much-needed break. I've worked six straight weekdays in a row, and while that might not sound that bad to you working stiffs out there, for me it's a marathon and a half. I haven't really worked in three years, and haven't worked full-time in over a decade. Think about that for a minute. Crazy, isn't it?

The good news is I got a great job. It's in a decent neighborhood (Brentwood), which isn't too far away, and has flexible hours which don't force me to get up too early, or stay too late. Not only that, but I have a cool boss, a fairly interesting job, and a good salary. But it's still work -- real work -- and that's just not something I'm used to. I don't know how all you lifers do it.

Very Bad Things: Dodgers 11, Giants 1

The fanboy optimism is officially dead.

I'm not giving up on the Giants this year or anything, but those Spring dreams of a dominant rotation, a solid bullpen, and a surprisingly decent offense leading the Giants to a Cinderella season are long gone. Right now, I'd take a .500 season and 3rd place in a heartbeat.

We all knew this year would be a growing experience, but the learning curve may be a bit steeper than some imagined. After following up the not-so-lowly Padres (6-2 now, by the way) with a blowout loss to the Dodgers, it's clear this team has some serious strides yet to make before they start trying on any glass slippers.

I didn't see one minute of the game -- I was at work, and though it's on my TiVo I have no intention of watching. Usually during this part of the season, I'll watch parts of games I know the Giants have lost just to experience the sensation of seeing my team play real, meaningful baseball. But the brand of baseball the team's been playing lately -- get down early, never come back -- gets old real easy.

The team has been awful since hitting the road. The starting pitching has been abysmal, the offense anemic, and the defense atrocious. That's four A's, which is coincidental, because the Giants are playing like a team of AAAA players. Luckily for them, the Diamondbacks have been just as bad, so the 2-5 Giants have some company in the NL West cellar.

TOMORROW: No game. What, no game?! On a Tuesday?! Who the hell made this schedule? Why wasn't the off day today? Can someone explain this to me? Oh well, the way the Giants are playing, a day off can't hurt.

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW: During this poor start to the season, few players remain blameless -- Brian Wilson and a couple of relievers, due to their lack of playing time, and Matt Cain due to his great start (the only quality start from a Giant in '09). Cain takes on Dodger youngster Clayton Kershaw.

One False Move: Padres 6, Giants 1

The Padres were ugly today, but the Giants were uglier. The issue I wrote about yesterday -- the Giants starters inability to go deep into the game, and keep the team in it -- reared its ugly head yet again. More vexing is the fact Tim Lincecum struggled for the second time, against a team he's dominated in the past. Along the way, a couple of other problems have come to light. Like rivers running into the ocean, these two other factors are helping contribute to the larger issue:

1) One bad inning. The starters haven't really pitched all that poorly overall, but three of the six starts went from soild/spectacular to crummy/crappy in one inning -- a couple on one swing of the bat.

Randy Johnson's dominant start was ruined by his first ever HR allowed to a pitcher, and he ended up only going 5 and allowing 4 runs. Johnathan Sanchez was dealing last night -- save for some control issues, and Henry Blanco -- but lost on two walks, an infield hit, and a two-out double, which turned a 2-1 game into a 5-1 game over. Today, Lincecum was his usual self until two outs in the 3rd when a defensive mistake cost him three runs and many, many pitches, blowing open a taut, 0-0 affair. In each of the latter cases, the pitchers actually retired Brian Giles with a runner on 3rd and one out with the run scoring, and only needed to get Giant-killer Adrian Gonzalez to escape the inning without any damage. Close, but no cigar.

2) Bad defense. In each of those aforementioned jams, the pitcher could've also escaped if just for some solid defensive play, but both were let down by young player's gaffes. Last night, sandwiched between Sanchez's costly walks, he got what should've been a huge out when Jody Gerut hit a roller to 3B, but Pablo Sandoval couldn't field it cleanly, then turned the wrong way when attempting to throw to 2B. The play was ruled an infield hit, but a good 3B could've made the play. Sandoval is not a good 3B, time will tell if he's good enough to not stay there, but the early results have been a little shaky.

Today, Fred Lewis was the culprit. Lincecum got what he needed from his face-off with Gonzalez -- a meekly-hit fly ball -- but Lewis butchered it badly. First, he got no jump at all on the ball, standing flat-footed for a moment. It seemed obvious to me the ball was a bloop, not a blast, but these things do happen -- especially on a sunny day. But the next mistake is much harder to understand: He charged in on the ball, then, for no apparent reason, stopped for a beat as if he thought the ball would go over his head*. By the time he recovered to keep coming in on the ball, it was too late. He dove and came up with the ball, but it was clearly on a short-hop. The run scored, the inning continued, and the next batter homered, and suddenly it was 3-0 Pads and the game was over for all intents and purposes.

If the Giants don't mend these cracks in the facade, they seemingly have no chance to be competitive. Winning with pitching and defense only works when the defense shows up. And it also helps if the pitchers don't invite trouble with walks, and implode when things go sour. Because the offense certainly can't be depended upon to bail them out of a hole. They looked bad on Sunday, particularly Lewis, who continued his bad day by striking out with a runner on third and one out in the 6th, swinging for the fences when he should've been trying to make contact and halve San Diego's 2 run lead.

* Lewis let this happen to him in that same inning as well -- drifting back on a ball which then sailed over his head.

TOMORROW: The Giants travel up the 5 to LA, where they'll take on the Dodgers in their home opener. Randy Johnson will take on some Dodger jerk (Chad Billingsley, to be specific).

A Giant Problem: Padres 6, Giants 3

It's much too early in the season to make any kind of long-term judgments about the Giants, but an alarming trend has begun to show itself. We all knew thee starting rotation could be a huge strength for the team, but the dirty little secret no one wanted to mention were all the questions on the staff -- three youthful, relatively inexperienced starters, two old folks (one in age, the other in stuff) with decline questions.

So far, we've a little bit of everything -- Lincecum and Sanchez were amped and wild, and wasted great strikeout stuff by falling behind hitters. Zito still looks done, and while Randy Johnson looked good, he could break down at any moment. Cain was solid, but he hasn't proven to be over the occasional youthful wildness, either. Because they're not eating very many innings -- only Cain got past the 5th -- the bullpen is being taxed. This is a recipe for disaster, especially with so much youth in the 'pen -- Valdez, Hinshaw, Martinez*.

Sanchez's performance on Saturday night was maddeningly familiar. He was very successful when he got the ball over the plate against the Padres -- at least when he wasn't pitching to Henry Blanco -- but he spit the bit in the 5th, done in primarily by a walk to Jake Peavy. He almost recovered to get out of it, retiring Brian Giles on a shallow fly with the bases loaded, but got burned on a game-deciding, two-out, three-run double by Adrian Gonzalez. Sanchez tempted fate and lost, and when you're up against Peavy that's all it takes to lose.

The Giants offense didn't pick him up, and can't be counted on to bail out many starters from big deficits. They look a little feisty, like they could be decent, but they're not carrying anybody. That means the starters need to pull it together quick or the Giants could find themselves at the bottom of the NL West. Which is kind of like being the flabbiest, most bruised up stripper at the club. Bottom of the barrel time.

* According to the excellent Andrew Baggarly, Joey Martinez is still in the ICU for precautionary reasons, but could be back pitching as early as the end of May.

TOMORROW: The Giants send their top dog out to avoid the embarrassing sweep at the hands of the downtrodden Pads as Lincecum takes on the crafty Chris Young.

Movie Review: 'I Love You, Man'

This is the part where I act like an authority on entertainment, and criticize the work of professionals who are, without exception, more successful than I in the industry in which we both work. Some people would say this is proof I have "balls", or "chutzpah" in Jewspeak. Others would say it's proof I'm a "douchebag". To catch up on any old reviews, you can find the link on the right hand side of the page, or just click here.

Yeah, that's right -- a movie review. Bet you forgot I even did these anymore. After three months without one, I think I did, too. But with Spring spring, and summer blockbusters just around the corner, you can expect to see some more, so let's get back in the flow, yo:

The "bromantic comedy" has become a staple of the male 18-34 demo comedy, especially among the Judd Apatow mafia -- 'Superbad' and 'Pineapple Express' are tow recent examples. Though the idea that two straight guys can have a "romance" of sorts, has been a subplot in many movies lately, John Hamburg's 'I Love You, Man' takes it to the next logical step -- giving it all the usual conceits and structure of a romantic comedy.

Hamburg (of 'Meet the Parents' fame) directs, and also co-wrote the script with Larry Levin. Paul Rudd, usually a bit player as the best friend, or one of the gang, plays the lead. With Jason Segel playing his platonic love interest. Rudd's Peter and Segel's Sydney have all the familiar plot points in their bromance -- meet cute, awkward first date, escalating feelings, breakup, makeup, etc. The result, while not ground-breaking by any means, is effective.

Rudd is solid as the slightly off Peter, a guy who doesn't have any guy friends, and acts a little nervous and creepy when he does get around one. Rudd normally plays the glib, easy going type, so it's a bit odd to see him "play down" to Peter, especially since it's his story, and the movie rests on his shoulders. It's during this time the movie suffers through its only real uncertainty. Frankly, it's a little hard to buy Peter's charm with the ladies coupled with his awkwardness with men. The bubbling, and especially the babbling lingo he utters, gets a bit much at times, but Rudd still manages to pull it off with his charming, easy-to-root-for persona.

Peter's lack of a strong personality early on is off-set by those around him. His fiancee, Zooey (Rashidi Jones), and her friends Denise and Hailey (a decent Jaime Pressley and a great Sarah Burns, respectively) are plain-speaking and colorful, as is Denise's husband Barry (a nasty John Favreau). The quality ensemble casting continues throughout Peter's family -- loving mom (Jane Curtain), distant dad (JK Simmons), and gay brother (Andy Samburg). These supporting characters, along with a few others (most notably, Thomas Lennon), help carry the story until Segel shows up at the first act break.

Once Segel's Sydney does arrive, he shakes up Peter's world, giving him -- and the movie -- the electricity he/it needs. He's Peter's polar opposite (fulfilling another rom-com staple) -- confident, relaxed, and seemingly apathetic about how others see him. Sydney helps draw Peter from his shell -- drinking, jamming, going to a concert, even pushing him to work harder at his real estate job. Segel is great as Sydney, keeping the laughs coming, and adding a much-needed wild card into the mix. His riffs on society's habits and rules are the highlights of the movie.

'I Love You, Man' is solid, if not revelatory comedy by talented professionals. It's the kind of movie you shouldn't rush out to see, but it is the kind you should enjoy if you do.

Using the age-old Hollywood scale of judgment -- HIGHLY RECOMMEND/RECOMMEND/CONSIDER/PASS (circle one) -- I rate 'I Love You, Man':

RECOMMEND

...And The Beat Goes On: Padres 7, Giants 3

Not much to talk about tonight. Zito pitched, and the Giants lost. That's how it works. Barry did his thing -- allowing runs (4) and baserunners (9) while not eating many innings (4). He threw a bit harder than he has recently, and his breaking ball had some bite. But when you're a veteran and have your best stuff and are that unsuccessful, you have major issues.

On the postgame show, Mike Krukow made excuses for Zito, saying it was just nerves in the 1st inning, when he allowed 3 runs, that he settled down after that, and that his next start would be better. I'm sick of excuses for Zito -- now, he had "opening night jitters", next he's given extra rope because he's always been a slow starter. Then, before you know it, it'll be mid-season, and those same apologists are predicting a big 2nd half and getting all worked up for the random competant start. But down deep we all know what we have -- an albatross. The only question is whether is how soon the Giants come to terms with this and pull him form the rotation.

Zito wasn't the only thing wrong with the Giants on Friday night. The defense let him down a bit, and the offense was generally lethargic, save for a couple of stunted rallies with the Giants down 4-2. One ended on an Ishikawa GIDP with the bases loaded and none out and a pathetic K by Rowand, the other was dashed by a dazzling tying HR-saving catch by Scott Hairston on a drive by Molina to CF, followed by another flyout to the wall by Ishikawa. Hairston followed that with a 3-run HR to ice the game, and Pad's won 7-3.

Bright spots: Emanuel Burriss (his first two hits of the season, along with two walks), Fred Lewis (another hit and walk, hitting .500) and new call-up for the DL-ed Joe Martinez, Justin Miller (two scoreless innings).

TOMMOROW: Jonathan Sanchez has the unenviable task of taking on Jake Peavy. Hey, it could be worse, Jonathan -- you could have Barry Zito's stuff.

See No Evil: Giants 7, Brewers 1

Very scary moment in the game tonight as Giants rookie pitcher -- and team-leader in wins -- Joe Martinez was struck in the head by a line drive off the bat of Mike Cameron. Martinez was bloodied and dazed, but walked off under his own power, and seemed okay pending tests. It doesn't seem serious, which on a day where one baseball player has already tragically died after pitching the best game of his life, is welcome news. Because that is all terribly depressing, I'm going to ignore it for the rest of this post:

I've determined the secret to winning Giants baseball -- I need to not watch it live. So far this season I've had to TiVo two games because of work, and the Giants are 2-0. I've watched one game live, and they are 0-1. Some people will tell you three games isn't a large enough enough sample size to determine trends about baseball. Those people probably also hate America. Until I have any more evidence, I'm just going to go with the old scientific theorem, "The trend is your friend".

Matt Cain was great, and more amazingly, he got run support, as the Giants won it, 7-1. Cain allowed only 1 run and 6 baserunners in 7 innings, while striking out 5. He accomplished this against a strong Brewer lineup, settling in nicely after a bit of a lucky start, when two long flyballs to right Death Valley were knocked down by the wind and died in Randy Winn's glove at the wall.

Speaking of Winn: He looked great in the field and at the plate -- a good sign for the notoriously slow starter -- and more and more, I'm coming to believe those who believe he's one of the more underrated players in baseball. He plays very well in the toughest RF in the league, hits .300 (3 of the last 4 years), draws walks, and steals bases at a very high rate (42/47 last 2+ years). If he has another good year, the Giants may be able to trade him for something shiny at the trade deadline if they fall out of the race.

Not that I'm thinking they'll be out of the race. In fact, if the prospects I had the most confidence in coming into the season -- Sandoval, Lewis, Ishikawa -- keep hitting (though I doubt Lewis will hit .500+), I might struggle to supress my fanboy optimism. I know the Giants have a potentially great rotation, but there's no guarantee it'll workl out that way. If the offense was good enough that they didn't need a dominant staff, I could be talked into their chances to win the division. Yeah, that's right -- I said it.

TOMORROW: The Giants take it on the road down to San Diego, where they take on the lowly Padres. Lucky for San Diego, the Giants are throwing Barry Zito -- the perfect cure for my fanboy optimism. He'll take on the Padres' Shawn Hill.

Nothing To See Here: Brewers 4, Giants 2

In their first game of the season, the Giants heralded starting pitching looked bad, but they won. In their second, it looked great, but they lost. It's not quite that simple of course -- Lincecum actually had good stuff on Opening Day, only lacking command, and Randy Johnson may have looked great, but he still gave up four earned runs in only five innings in a 4-1 Giants loss.

But don't pay too much attention to the Big Unit's 7.20 ERA, that stat betrays all the others -- only four hits and one walk to go with seven K's. His fastball was in the low 90's and crisp, the slider was breaking, and his change -- which he threw more tonight than he did all Spring, according to Mike Krukow -- was devastating. Johnson was done in by just two pitches -- they resulted in two HR's which knocked in all four Brewers runs. The first was a mistake: a hanging slider to Mike Cameron (previously 2 for 29 vs. the Unit) in the 2nd inning for a solo shot. The second was a fluke, a devastating one.

Johnson was cruising with two outs and nobody on in the 5th, when he gave up a double to Bill Hall (previously 0-14 vs. Johnson for his career). He followed by intentionally walking punch-and-judy hitter Jason Kendall to get to pitcher Yovanni Gallardo, which seemed like a decent move until you realize Kendall has had 3 HR's in 789 AB's (1 every 263 AB's) over the last two seasons while Gallardo has had 2 HR's in 49 AB's (1 every 24.5 AB's) over the same period. Make that 3 HR's in 50 AB's. Johnson made the pitch he wanted to -- an chest-high fastball -- but Gallardo went deep, becoming the first ever pitcher to take the Unit out of the park (I did say "fluke").

Suddenly a 1-1 game with 2 out in the 5th and the Unit dominating in his first start as a Giant, turned into 4-1 Brew Crew and the Giants wasting every good opportunity to score. Molina hit into a double play (shocker!) with men at 1st and 3rd with 1 out, and they wasted a 1st and 2nd, no out situation as well. Finally, they scored to pull within two runs and loaded the bases for Molina with two out, but he failed to come through. In other words, it was typical baseball -- your pitcher looks great, you bunch baserunners for the meat of your order, and you still get beat. Back at 'am tomorrow. Speaking of which...

TOMORROW: Matt Cain takes on Manny Parra in a rare 4:05 start at Mays Field. Twilight games often make for low-scoring affairs, and so do Matt Cain starts. But now that I've written that, look for a 12-11 game.

Day 2, Game 1: Giants 10, Brewers 6

This season, the Giants will survive only if their pitching holds up, because their offense won't give them much. In their first game of the 2009 season, not so much. It was Opposite Day at Mays Field, as Tim Lincecum struggled mightily -- as did a couple of the relievers who followed him (though Joe Martinez vltured a win in his big league debut despite struggling) -- the the prolific Giants offense out-scored the Brewers 10-6. While Lincecum struggled with his command all day (which was just three innings -- the shortest start of his career), just about every hitter had a big day.

The Giants compiled 12 hits, hit three HR's (something it took them 64 innings to accomplish last season), and even did a lot of the little things right (sac fly, successful hit-and-run, even a perfectly-executed butcher boy base hit by Lincecum). They also did some things very sloppily -- particularly Pablo Sandoval's D at 3B, but also including a very bad throwing error by Fred Lewis in LF.

The power came from Randy Winn, Bengie Molina, and Aaron Rowand, who bounced back from a terrible Spring to have two hits and a walk. Travis Ishikawa hit what would've been a grand slam in almost any other park in the first inning, but since it was to Triple's Alley, he had to "settle" for a three-run triple. Sandoval, Burris, and Lewis all chipped in, and one can only hope this was a sign of good things to come. Though, definitely not this good.

The pitching, likewise, will likely not be this bad. Lincecum didn't appear hurt, or really that far off -- it seemed to be a case of overthrowing leading to poor mechanics and rhythm, which isn't hard to understand. He is the defending Cy Young winner, and this was his first Opening Day start. Plus he met Sully Sullenberger like two minutes before the game started, and that can't help but throw you.

Watching the game on TiVo this afternoon after I got off work, I was reminded why Kruk and Kuip are tow of the best announcers in the game. They pointed out how small Ryan Braun is for a power hitter, and Krukow likened him to Will Clark, showing his swing, and how he maximized his strength with toque and timing. Moments later, they showed video of The Thrill hitting one out to compare and contrast. Kruk capped it off with a quote from Rick Reuschel, inspired by Clark's ability to hit: "A genius is a guy who makes something hard look easy".

This first game could be viewed by those looking to jump to conclusions as the first win of many for a maturing team, or a sign of the youthful, sloppy play which will plague the Giants all year. But it's probably neither -- just one game of 162. Who knows what the next 161 will bring. Whatever it is, I'm ready. Baseball is back. Yippee.

TOMORROW: A night game, so I might actually get to catch some of it live. The Giants will whip out the Big Unit, as Randy Johnson makes his SF debut against Yovani Gallardo.

Opening Day... Sort Of

It's only opening day, and I'm already struggling to get in my promised daily post about baseball. This is true for two reasons: 1) I finally got a job* -- and a damn well-paying one at that -- and today was first day, so I'm very tired, and 2) The Giants didn't play today, and most of the teams which did, played to blowouts. And the most interesting matchup on opening day -- Red Sox vs. Rays -- was rained out. It just as well -- I would've missed all the action anyway, while at work. I won't be working completely full time, though, and will be able to make my own flexible hours (Hooray!), so I'll still be able to catch all the Giants games (live or on TiVo), plus a lot of other games this season. That's the good news.

The bad news is, the Giants might not play for awhile. They're scheduled to play tomorrow, but Andrew Baggarly (and everyone else) is predicting rain, so who knows. The only thing worse than not playing on opening day is following that with a rainout -- or worse, a long rain-delay, which could waste a Tim Lincecum start.

The best game from today was probably the crazy comeback in St. Louis, where brand new closer Jason Motte blew his first save chance. The most interesting performance probably belonged to C.C. Sabathia, who got smoked in Baltimore. Mark Texiera also took a collar and left five men on base. Think the Yanks fans are already getting heated on the talk shows about those contracts?

* I still have lots of things from my job search I'd like to write about. Hopefully, I'll still have the time now that it's over for awhile (knock on wood)

MORALLY OUTRAGED UPDATE: According to the excellent El Lefty Malo, the only reason the Giants didn't play on opening day is because they chose to have one more exhibition game. Why schedule yet another spring training game at the end of the longest exhibition season ever? For money of course. And let me tell you, without an ounce of irony, that I am shocked -- shocked! -- that a major baseball owner would place the pursuit of money above the enjoyment of the fans.

MPAA = EVIL

Kevin Goldstein has a great post on his great blog, The Big Picture (permanently linked on the Blog Roll on the lower right-hand side of the page) today, chronicling the last -- and most egregiously idiotic act by the Motion Picture Association of America. The MPAA is in charge of rating movies, and they have never been accused of being anywhere close to competent at that job. On the contrary, they have been lambasted for years by filmmakers -- Matt Stone and Trey Parker come immediately to mind -- and have even had a documentary made about how silly and prejudiced they are, regularly going easy on incredible violence while harshly punishing anything sexual.

The best evidence of this double-standard may be the recent case, chronicled by Goldstein, of 'Naked Ambition: An R-rated Look at an X-rated Industry', and how they received a red-band rating for their trailer despite the fact it contains absolutely no nudity, sex, or swearing. That's right, they felt it should not be seen by those under 18 because it's about sex, even though there's none to be seen. If that's not puritanical thinking, I don't know what is. And yet, they'll take it easy on the next torture porn vehicle which comes their way, even if it contains a teenage girl getting skinned alive and fed her own entrails.

It's (Almost) On!

Don't let the fact I haven't written much about the Giants, or baseball in general, convince you I've given up on this whole Giants Diary idea. I still plan to write a little something -- usually a very little something -- every day of the baseball season, I just haven't had much to say during Spring training -- there's just something so meaningless and hypothetical about it. More like a tease, then the real thing. This year, because of the WBC, Spring training lasted even longer, giving it an even more useless feel.

But now the clubs are back in their big league cities -- I'm watching Tim Lincecum mow down the A's right now (3-0 Giants in the middle of the 3rd) on Comcast SportsNet Bay Area (thanks, DirecTV!) -- and the season finally feels like it's actually going to happen. The first game (or "Opening Night" as ESPN prefers to call it) is Sunday, most teams open Monday, and the first Giants game (against Milwaukee) is Tuesday.

It's great to see the big league parks again -- especially PacBell Park SBC Park AT&T Park Mays Field -- and it doesn't hurt when the first time up in their home park your team puts up three runs. That's not likely happen too often this year with a Giant offense everyone agrees is a weak spot, but I think they have a few hitters who could be better than a lot of people think. Fred Lewis, coming off an impressive first full year in the majors, is one. Travis Ishikawa, a once-fallen prospect coming off a revitalizing and dominant minor league season, is another. But the most excitement surrounds fan favorite, Pablo Sandoval, who's already starting to earn some national recognition.

Only time will tell, but as a Giants fan, I go into this year with much more enthusiasm than in any year since at least 2004. It may come to nothing, but at least for now, it's Spring and I'm hopeful, and there's something to be said for that.

Bruno

The long-awaited trailer for 'Bruno', Sacha Baron Cohen's follow-up to 'Borat', hit the web today, and it looks just about how you'd expect it to -- funny, borderline-offensive, and boundary-pushing comedy peppered with condescending and exploitative humor aimed at Christian folks from the midwest and south. Not that there's anything wrong with that. On the contrary, although it does not look to be quite as good as 'Borat', I still can't wait until it comes out.

Here's the red-band trailer:



I think my favorite moment is him picking up the black baby on the luggage carousel, followed closely by the bondage situation at the mall and the O.J. line.